Beware of Home Businesses

Beware of Home Businesses–wow I am convicted!

February 14, 2009

WOW, after I posted about burn-out, I found this amazing article that a friend posted! From A Woman Who Fears The Lord website. She makes some important points to ponder before we decide to invest in a home business.~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Beware of Home Businesses! (or the danger of a working mother!)

 *NEW*I hope the title did not give a false impression that I’ll be giving the ins and outs of how to start and run a home business. What I desire to impart on these pages are the difficult lessons the Lord taught me during the 10 years my family ran Christian Curriculum Cellar from our home. My prayer is that my loss will be your gain.

Before I begin sharing I want to make something very clear. IF you and your husband are currently running a home business and IF your husband has ASKED you or has made his wishes clear that he wants you to CONTINUE running the business then PLEASE do not read any farther. BUT… If you (alone) are interested in starting a home business and if YOU (alone) feel that your family could use the extra money and if YOU (alone) think that your children could benefit in helping you run a home business then PLEASE continue reading.

 I began a home business in the cellar of our family home nearly 16 years ago. We called ourselves Christian Curriculum Cellar. The business steadily grew and became very successful. We shipped books across the United States and to missionaries in other countries. We owned the business for 10 years before selling it to a lovely Christian home schooling family.

I was often asked before I owned CCC to help young mother’s with curriculum planning. I remember the day perfectly that I had just come home from helping a young mother choose her curriculum and plan for the coming school year. I mentioned to my husband, as I reentered our home, that I wish there was a way I could make a little extra money doing what I loved. He offered $100.00 to help begin my dream. I knew there would not be a paying market for curriculum planning services but I thought that our area could definitely benefit from a used home school book business…. and a way we went!

Now, if you read over the above paragraph you probably missed two key factors in the start of our home business. The first one was my MOTIVATION behind starting the business and that was to make a `little extra money’. My main motivation in starting CCC was because I was not CONTENT with my husbands wages. Were we making the payments on all the bills? Yes! Were we going without anything our family really NEEDED? No! We had food on the table, clothes on our back and our bills were being paid on time. My main complaint was a lack of money to purchase gifts for my immediate family for their birthdays and the holidays. Most of our pennies were accounted for with little left over. In my lack of contentment I thought … if we just had a little bit more… then I`d be content!

 The second key was that the starting of the business was MY idea. My husband was not suggesting that I find some kind of business to make ends meet. He was content with my role in the home. The whole idea, temptation and lack of contentment had originated in me. I had it set in my mind that I MUST give gifts to my family whether my husband thought it important or not. Gift giving was extremely important in my family and was associated with love. Instead of resting in God’s providence and submitting to my husband’s leadership I sought to meet my own needs by making a ‘little extra money’.

Sixteen years ago the home school circles and magazines all promoted home businesses as THE ultimate in family training. It was part of the `perfect home schooling family’ ideal and if you wanted the BEST for your family you would find a way to start one. Everyone, so it seemed, was wanting to find a way to `bring their husband home.’ We were given many stories of family’s who were successfully running a home business and all the benefits that they had gained. Most of us bought this lie `hook, line and sinker’. I call it a `lie’ because years down the road I was able to talk candidly with many home business owners and many shared the burden that their businesses had caused their families and the time the business had stolen from training their children. Mothers were worn out, exhausted and full of regrets. They felt trapped. Children were resentful of the time the business demanded of their parents. I knew of a few home businesses that `seemed’ to be doing well but they had been started as a result of the husband’s initiative and on his talent, not the wife`s.

I remember one afternoon my youngest son coming down the stairs of our cellar while I was working on cataloging the books and cried, "Mom, when are you going to sell all these books?" He was probably about 10 at that time. He was upset that I was spending so much time on the business. I heard his cry but found myself confused as to what was ultimately best so I continued. Hadn’t the `experts’ said that this was best for my family? Wouldn’t the extra money bring some added relief to my family? Wouldn’t my children benefit from learning a trade? I remember thinking that things would get better and smooth out eventually. By the time I realized the effects of my `distraction’ my husband had already put a lot of money into the business. He did not feel that we could just walk away from it without getting back what we had invested. So, for the next 5 years I muddled through the best I could. I was overwhelmed from the work load. It was many years before I could afford to have someone work part-time in the store. The workload of the business mainly fell on my shoulders. At the same time I was running the business I was also finishing up home schooling my older 2 children and trying to get my younger one through high school. Along with those duties I was expected to tend to my husband’s needs, keep my home clean along with all my other household duties, keep an acre of land and oversee the care of the few pets we owned. I also did the dispatching and accounting for my husband’s trucking business. I began having health problems about 5 years into the business. I developed hernias from all the lifting. I also began having, what I thought to be, heart problems. It felt like an elephant was sitting on my chest and I had difficulty catching my breath. I went to the Dr. and after running a battery of tests he concluded it was not my heart but good old fashioned anxiety! I was suffocating under the weight of my own workload.

Eventually, after 10 years, we were able to sell the business. I even dreaded selling it because I knew the amount of stress it would put on the next family. We found a family where the husband was the one who wanted to own the business and his wife would be helping. We felt comfortable with this arrangement knowing that the husband was initiating the purchase. They seem to have handled the stress well and are doing fine and the business is thriving. We were thankful to find such honest and godly people to hand over our customers.

So, here I am nearly 16 years later since CCC began and I finally believe I am at a place where I can write about my experience objectively. Many ask if I miss running the business and I never hesitate when I quickly answer NO. I miss my customers but I never miss the burden of all that came with it. This is what I share with mothers who ask if I would recommend starting a home business… don’t do it unless it’s your husbands command!

 As you read the list below I’d like you to notice that what I lost in running a home business were actual commands in Scripture. These commands were God’s specific will for my life. Because I `added` a home business (not God’s command or my husband’s) I squeezed out time to perform God’s specific commands. We have examples of women in Scripture who sold things and made money so we cannot say it is a sin for a woman to do so. But, we see no where in the New Testament that a woman is commanded to work outside her home or run a home business or even earn a living. Titus 2 says that she is to be guarding/keeping the home along with all the other commands found elsewhere in Scripture ( to use her gifts in the local church body, feed the poor, clothe the naked, love her children, wash the feet of the saints, be hospitable, love her husband, help the weak and on the on the list goes).

I’ve compiled a short, incomplete list under "How Should a Godly Woman Spend her Days". Husbands ARE given the command to provide for their household but wives are NOT given this command. 1 Tim. 5:8. If I am fulfilling all KNOWN specific commands (and who can say that they actual are?) then I doubt there will be much time left to pursue other interests. What I LOST in running a home business: * I neglected using my spiritual gifts in the local church. Eph. 4:10- 14 * I neglected fellowship with other believers in my church. Acts 2:42 * I neglected to meet the needs of the poor, widow and orphan in my church body. James 1:27, Matt. 25:36 * I neglected keeping my husband as a high priority. Everything runs second, third and four to keeping a business ALIVE. A home business can become a living, breathing nightmare (I once thought it was a dream) that has the potential to overtake every area of your life. Gen. 2:18.

Priorities become muddled and the business becomes #1 because it SCREAMS the loudest. The roles became reversed between my husband and I. Because I was struggling with the workload my husband became MY HELPER. No longer was I coming beside him and asking how I could be HIS helpmate but he was coming alongside me and asking how he could help ME. I was created to be his helper not the reverse.

Gen. 2:18 I neglected loving my children in a true, biblical way. There was little time to talk and share with each other. Every bit of time was spent working while the mother becomes more of a drill sergeant than a tender, nurturing caregiver. The mother is in `survival’ mode with nothing left to give to relationships because all has been given to the business. You can lose touch with your children’s hearts if you are overburdened with a heavy workload. I lost my younger son’s heart and it`s taken years to regain it. Quality of home school education was also lost. Titus 2:4 What I learned:

 * I LEARNED TO BE CONTENT with my husbands wages. When it looked like the Lord and my husband were going to allow me to be released from the business I remember asking the Lord to help me never forget this lesson. I would much rather find ways to cut back on living expenses to live within our means that to wander from my most important priorities in order to have a `little extra spending money’. I’ve learned that contentment rarely comes by addition but by subtraction of our desires.

 * I LEARNED TO BE CONTENT WITH MY LOT IN LIFE. I want to always remember that whatever money has been given to our household, through my husband’s labor, is GOD’S assigned portion and to be content. Ps. 16:5 If we are lacking it may be because I we’re wanting something that is not a necessity. As much as I love my immediate family, it was not worth giving up my highest priorities just to purchase gifts.

* I LEARNED TO KEEP FIRST THINGS FIRST. There are specific commands found in Scripture for a Christian woman. These must become a priority. IF there is time left over then she is allowed to pursue secondary things. (See upcoming article on KNOWING GOD’S WILL. Lord willing!) It’s been a long, hard journey which has consumed over a decade of my family’s life. I am so thankful that the Lord promises to work ALL things together for my good and His glory. (Rom. 8:28) He is our REDEEMER, not only in salvation but in all things. God has used my weaknesses and failings for good in spite of all we lost. He is a truly merciful God! Georgene Girouard Copyrighted 2006. You may copy this article in it’s entirety. Please include the website address. A Woman that Fears the Lord

Taken from this webpage http://www.awomanthatfearsthelord.com/