Friday, October 21, 2011

How to not have a backslidden teenager

This was posted on pennyraine.com’s blog. She gave me permission to repost here:

How NOT to have backslidden teenagers

It is Friday evening and your young people are going to the movies. Do you know what they are watching? Do you care? Do you know who they are going with? Would you go with them? Do you know what it is rated and what is in it? Here is a short excerpt of an email I just received.

This summer, our sons and daughters have a lot of choices when it comes to what movies are playing at the local theater. It almost seems this year several new movies are coming out each week. It’s clear to me that the Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA) does a very poor job in the ratings department, and an even worse job is letting parents know what objectionable content is in a particular movie. For example, a young lady I know recently posted on her Facebook page that she was going back to see Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen for a second time. Her parents had no idea that this PG-13 film contains extensive sexual scenes, violence, drug use, and 37 strong profanities. And, her Christian parents were shocked to learn that the Hollywood blockbuster used God’s name in vain 19 times!

As moms, it’s important that we know what our children and grandchildren are being influenced by. If we are going to trust the MPAA to do it for us, we’re in big trouble. I am sure I know way too many people who have seen that movie already, and let’s just say I am ashamed if you liked it. And even more than shocked that they paid for it. God help us. But that isn’t what I am really sharing about here. I am wanting to share how NOT to have backslidden teenagers.

First of all, around here we don’t call them teenagers. The word teenager is a social term, it doesn’t mean an age group, it means a cultural group. It reminds us of rebellion and peer pressure and no respect for parents, immoral activity, drugs, sex and rock and roll, reckless driving and being “cool” at all costs. Tell me if I am wrong. I didn’t think so. Now if teenagers are what you want with you as a testimoney “here I am , I and the children God has given me” (Isaiah 8:18) then go right ahead. I choose to live for a higher cause. I believe my children will change the world for the better. That is what I have given my life for. That is my contribution to God’s Kingdom. That is my cause worth dying for. I have written tons of articles on this subject that have been published in several places so I won’t repeat everything, but here are my top 30 tips on how NOT to have a rebellious teenager.

Raise them with the truth
set an example
walk in the light
don’t call them teenagers
pay attention to what they do as if their life depends on it
love them like a parent,
like them like a friend
take time for them do things they want to do, not just things you want to do
sacrifice for the cause
pray instead of sleeping
know what they are doing and who they are talking to
audit your cell phone bill OFTEN
be their friend on facebook
pray without ceasing and fast when needed
make their interests YOUR interests
become friends with their friends
ask God for discernment and use it take time for them encourage them in what is right remind them that being right with God is more important than being cool with their friends
remind them sometimes if they need new friends
have household rules not suggestions
don’t waiver on what God says is right
tell them you love them OFTEN and make sure they know it is true
remember the goal is to live for the Kingdom not for the flesh
hold them accountable
teach them responsibility, especially during the summer months, summer does not mean “free for all” remind them we are to change the world not have it change us
remind them of eternity
LOVE them, LOVE them, LOVE them
Remember we are raising young people to become adults who will contribute to God’s Kingdom and the community around them.
added note- as a parent I am not here to be Hitler in my young people’s lives, my goal is not to govern them but rather to be an Aaron, holding their arms up and encouraging them to follow God’s voice. We are all on the same side.

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